By Phylis Sparks
Why is it important to forgive a person who has made you miserable? Because what that person did to you is not what’s making you miserable. What keeps you in misery is your emotional attachment to what that person did to you. Even if you don’t consciously remember it! Another word for it is unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is the emotional replay of a past event in the present moment … again, and again, and again. Unforgiveness can control how you react to the next experience … and the next … and the next.
It’s nothing new to say that forgiveness is important. The value of forgiveness has been touted as an act of virtue and a mandatory command in every philosophy and religion. Its importance has long been recognized by every branch of the medical profession as being vital to one’s health.
Still, for most of us the act of forgiveness is not that simple. Forgiving someone who has deeply hurt us is hard. In fact those of us who claim to have forgiven someone, or even one’s self, in all likelihood really haven’t, and it’s hurting us more deeply than we can imagine. So, exactly what does it mean to truly forgive, how do you actually do it, and how do you know if you’ve really done it?! You might say, “Do I really have to? I mean, I didn’t cause the problem, did I?!” These are valid questions that I dig into in my new book, having the same title as this article. In its pages I share the Forgiveness Process, which I discovered and developed while going through my own painful struggle with fear, anger, torment and unforgiveness. I have shared this method with many people who now realize how authentic forgiveness can change their lives, and that it wasn’t what they thought it was!
The accomplishment of authentic forgiveness can make an enormous difference in your freedom to move forward with courage, command and commitment, leaving all the stumbling blocks behind. You’ll be amazed at discoveries you make about the obstructions you might have been tripping on as you pursued your dreams. Why not make it easy instead of hard, a journey of thriving rather than striving?! Why not unfold a depth of confidence that makes your light shine in ways you never imagined?!
Phylis Sparks has written a book titled “Forgiveness: It’s NOT What You Think It Is”, and you can purchase a copy at Amazon, Barnes & Nobel and other online resources. For more information please visit www.phylissparks.com.